Friday, August 11, 2006

wild kingdom

so, last week was a all remember that episode, right? and before that, it was an opossum, a giant toad, a family of raccoons, and a whole colony of bloodthirsty squirrels (a long, but hysterical, story). and yesterday, it was a tortoise. yes, that's right - my dogs found a tortoise (be sure to check out the photo gallery if you really want to gross yourself out). and not a small one - this guy is at least a foot long, and that's just his shell. the hubs thinks our neighbor is keeping it as a pet. my question: what weirdo would keep a giant tortoise wandering free in their backyard as a pet???

answer: i have some very, very weird neighbors.

it's true, actually....they're nuts. we have one we affectionately refer to as 'crazy cat lady,' another that's 'scary cat lady' (yes, these are two distinct people), we have 2 different neighbors within a 3-house radius that routinely park cars on their lawn (can you hear the dueling banjos?), and the neighbor across the street has literally 7 cars and trucks. only 4 of which run, at last count.

that's right - i live in classic redneck, white-trash suburbia. i'm thinking of getting an extra couch to put on our front porch. possibly something involving velour.